My sister was a screamer. She always got her way. I remember her kicking a lot. She was born when I was 3 ½ so my tenure of being the only girl after 4 boys was up, I wasn’t the princess for long. Then by some miracle there was a 6 year gap before another boy came, followed up by 2 other boys. So I have figured out that she had 6 years of being Queen B.
She would never open her mouth for a dentist – so she got sent to a children’s specialty dentist who gave out prizes. I, however, was the good girl who would do what I was told including opening my mouth for the dentist. I unfortunately haven’t done well with this “good girl” persona; my needs are easily neglected since I tend to go along with the screamers to keep the peace. Yes, I am a people pleaser so I take great solace in my new, “Embracing Your Inner Bitch” calendar which teaches you to be more assertive and to rid “toxic niceness”.
As a parent I have discovered that this is not just a female dilemma. My sons reflect my sister and me. My oldest will sit quietly while he’s given a shot with one tear rolling down his cheek. His younger brother by 5 ½ years is the screamer, the one who hides from the doctor during shot time. When my oldest broke his arm nobody knew until he cried washing his hands 4 hours later. When the other broke his arm the screaming was heard throughout the world. He cried OUCH, OUCH in high decibels adding, “It hurts so bad, somebody just shoot me!” My oldest would wait until I woke up to say, I’ve been hurting since 5:00 AM, while the youngest wakes me at all hours of the night. If he’s in pain – he lets you know it.
So I wonder who will do best in life – or get what they want more – the good quiet one or the demanding screamer? What are your thoughts?
©Buist 2009
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