My son broke his arm in late June and we both survived our trip to ER and night in the hospital after his late night surgery. The horror came in when we had to return to the clinic to have his real cast put on. I was holding his lunch and way too much paper work when I saw these lines that looked like the DMV. I got in one and people told me I had to check in on the computers. It was one of those screens that you use that little stylus which of course did multiple strokes and I with my one hand, then being helped by my son with one hand as I had to review numerous pages for mistakes and had to sign all those legal forms. After this nightmare you have to stand in line where they have to copy your insurance card and have you sign one form, I guess approving all you did on the computer. I at this moment reached out for one of the stylus only to be told it wasn't a pen and I'm thinking is this efficient? Then they give you a beeper which will beep you when you can go in. The waiting room was packed and of course we waited an hour and a half . Benjamin during this time asked me why we had to wait so long and I told him that since we had cheap insurance we had to wait with everyone else to which he replied, "Why do only the rich people have the good insurance?" I told him that President Obama was working on it and his response, couldn't he have gotten it yesterday?
Now I am grateful that my son is covered and for this I will wait. Many would use this example as what might happen with a government run program for all. I think not, but with the option of going bankrupt over medical bills, I will wait and read my book but this self serve check in needs to somehow be overhauled.
I went in this week to have him X-rayed and had to encounter the same check in. I brought a big bag to put all my papers but still the machine was awful and when I had to correct the spelling of my name the editing features were limited to backspace. I truly wasn't "Merri joyful" about it. Then they had me feed his insurance card into this machine to scan, only to find out it wasn't working that day.
I was hoping this would be my last visit to self serve but they put another cast on my son making us return to this system in 2 weeks. Doing self-serve again is worst than Benjamin having to cancel his birthday party for the second time. Everyone in line was cranky with this self serve and our only voice came in at the end when they asked if we found the "EZ" Checkin easy to use. Of course I had to hit the no button several times for it to register.
So for our next visit, it won't just be my son on pain killers.
Seriously, Please make your voice heard for affordable insurance for all. We are fortunate to have Healthy Families and fortunately the governor hasn't taken money from it though I know there is now a waiting list to get in. I am looking at letting my own coverage cease due to the large cost of my cobra. Let's pray that Congress can get together and pass something soon.
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
Sunday, July 19, 2009
Spelling and Theology or Satan vs. Satin
Now I'm an English major with a Masters in Theology thus I was totally blown away when my son read my Satin Dental Floss asking me why I was buying Satan floss. Is this my failure , his school teachers, or his Sunday school teachers?
Now he did this before at Christmas while we were playing hangman. It was Christmas Hangman so we had to use words on the themes of Christmas. So he put out 6 spaces and as we guessed letters we ended up with JE_SUS. We were baffled and then he put an A in the spot saying, "Haven't you heard of JEASUS?" We all got such a laugh over this - wondering if he had been watching the religious channel but I'm sure that my mother who was with us wondered what kind of heathens raised him. All we could do was say Praise the Lord for Je (long A) sus!
Now he did this before at Christmas while we were playing hangman. It was Christmas Hangman so we had to use words on the themes of Christmas. So he put out 6 spaces and as we guessed letters we ended up with JE_SUS. We were baffled and then he put an A in the spot saying, "Haven't you heard of JEASUS?" We all got such a laugh over this - wondering if he had been watching the religious channel but I'm sure that my mother who was with us wondered what kind of heathens raised him. All we could do was say Praise the Lord for Je (long A) sus!
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
Modern Day Bag Ladies
When I was publishing NEWletter I started a column which was WRWL standing for Where Real Women Live. I asked for people to comment on the column but a few literalists thought it was a real radio show. Fast forward Blogging. Now is your chance to respond to my first article in this series, Modern Day Bag Ladies, which again isn't literal and with the economy now, we definitely pray not to become, but here goes.
"This is where Real Women and Real lives are talked about; we will voice this on WRWL Talk Radio Where Real Women Live. None of this Martha Stewart, PTA and church-volunteer-of-the-year stuff. No, this is where the worn-out tires of our lives hit the roads we are forced to drive on as we navigate our ways through career, marriage, and carpool in our attempts to appease our cultural dictates. This will be a listening post just like a call-in radio station where everyday women - not just celebrities or those who have “arrived”- share how they survive the everyday crazy lives that we are “supposed” to live. Women are encouraged to comment on their own view on a topic or article written and to share their wisdom on living an authentic life."
So in our first airing of WRWL we are calling all:
Modern day Bag Ladies!No I’m not talking about the poor women on the streets whom we pity or even secretly dread becoming someday, but of the everyday woman who cannot leave her house without packing at least one bag for herself and others before they leave home to start the day. Now, let’s see - this could include packing your husband’s lunch in his briefcase, packing a diaper bag for an infant, packing lunches and backpacks for your other children - and yet we forgot packing our own bag.
You see I myself the other morning took the term self-nurture to heart and packed in my bag a complete lunch, reading material, and even a breakfast to eat during break (since I fail at taking the time to sit down and eat mine with or before the kids eat theirs). Then I packed the backpack for my 3-yr.-old with pull-ups, lunch, snack, tippie cup and a blanket. Then I packed my 4th grader’s lunch putting it in his wheeled backpack, verifying that his homework, permission slips, music book were all there, and oh yes - it was Monday so we had to take the violin for music.
Now some of you saints have more children to pack for, along with a sports bag or two. (Oh, for the days before children when I, too, packed a sports bag for my own workout! Now getting the kids off to school and me on time for work constitute my daily workout.)
But do you see? Do you add it up? All these bags of things – forget room for passengers - we drive minivans to hold all the bags! We are modern day bag ladies and if by chance alas, one bag does not appear at its destination, guess who is the responsible one destined to go back for it? You got it – the bag woman. I’ve even heard of some women who go beyond bags, carrying boxes. And where, pray tell, do we put our purse?
One day I had purposefully packed my bag first, with the complete breakfast and lunch in it, yet that bag never saw the light of my car. My 3-yr.-old insisted on being loaded first and in the midst of going back 3 times for a different juice filled tippie cup I got on the road, kids strapped in, only to discover at my child’s daycare that my bag was missing. I was driving without a license and didn’t have my wallet to buy anything to eat at break. I knew I wouldn’t have a chance until lunch to go home and get it. So I got to work rattled and hungry, like a chunk of me was gone. Ever since then, my son reminds me, “Did you pack your bag Mom?”
How many bags do you pack in your life? Have you found any ways to simplify it? How are you letting others take more responsibility for the bags in their lives? Any suggestions on surviving the shuffling of the bags each morning?
MJ. Buist
©Buist 2002
"This is where Real Women and Real lives are talked about; we will voice this on WRWL Talk Radio Where Real Women Live. None of this Martha Stewart, PTA and church-volunteer-of-the-year stuff. No, this is where the worn-out tires of our lives hit the roads we are forced to drive on as we navigate our ways through career, marriage, and carpool in our attempts to appease our cultural dictates. This will be a listening post just like a call-in radio station where everyday women - not just celebrities or those who have “arrived”- share how they survive the everyday crazy lives that we are “supposed” to live. Women are encouraged to comment on their own view on a topic or article written and to share their wisdom on living an authentic life."
So in our first airing of WRWL we are calling all:
Modern day Bag Ladies!No I’m not talking about the poor women on the streets whom we pity or even secretly dread becoming someday, but of the everyday woman who cannot leave her house without packing at least one bag for herself and others before they leave home to start the day. Now, let’s see - this could include packing your husband’s lunch in his briefcase, packing a diaper bag for an infant, packing lunches and backpacks for your other children - and yet we forgot packing our own bag.
You see I myself the other morning took the term self-nurture to heart and packed in my bag a complete lunch, reading material, and even a breakfast to eat during break (since I fail at taking the time to sit down and eat mine with or before the kids eat theirs). Then I packed the backpack for my 3-yr.-old with pull-ups, lunch, snack, tippie cup and a blanket. Then I packed my 4th grader’s lunch putting it in his wheeled backpack, verifying that his homework, permission slips, music book were all there, and oh yes - it was Monday so we had to take the violin for music.
Now some of you saints have more children to pack for, along with a sports bag or two. (Oh, for the days before children when I, too, packed a sports bag for my own workout! Now getting the kids off to school and me on time for work constitute my daily workout.)
But do you see? Do you add it up? All these bags of things – forget room for passengers - we drive minivans to hold all the bags! We are modern day bag ladies and if by chance alas, one bag does not appear at its destination, guess who is the responsible one destined to go back for it? You got it – the bag woman. I’ve even heard of some women who go beyond bags, carrying boxes. And where, pray tell, do we put our purse?
One day I had purposefully packed my bag first, with the complete breakfast and lunch in it, yet that bag never saw the light of my car. My 3-yr.-old insisted on being loaded first and in the midst of going back 3 times for a different juice filled tippie cup I got on the road, kids strapped in, only to discover at my child’s daycare that my bag was missing. I was driving without a license and didn’t have my wallet to buy anything to eat at break. I knew I wouldn’t have a chance until lunch to go home and get it. So I got to work rattled and hungry, like a chunk of me was gone. Ever since then, my son reminds me, “Did you pack your bag Mom?”
How many bags do you pack in your life? Have you found any ways to simplify it? How are you letting others take more responsibility for the bags in their lives? Any suggestions on surviving the shuffling of the bags each morning?
MJ. Buist
©Buist 2002
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
All About Self-Nurture and Stuffing your own stocking
“Self Nurture is more than pampering.
It is about becoming powerful.”
Jennifer Louden,
The Comfort Queen’s Guide to Life.
Our topic of the month is Self-Nurture and since we take the first part of our name from the word Nurture, I’d like to tell you NEW’s definition of it. Lately “Self Nurture” has become a “self help” buzzword for women which promises when achieved to miraculously take away all problems and bring total happiness. Self Nurture books tell us, who feel terribly taken for granted as we thanklessly take care of everyone else’s needs, to treat ourselves to a massage, mud bath, facial, cheesecake or some other reward for surviving a lousy day or week.
But is this the definition of nurture when we apply it in use with our husbands and our children? I hope we go beyond the back massages and Hostess cupcakes when we nurture them. Isn’t it that we take care of their basic needs, including cooking nutritious meals they like, cleaning up after them and making sure they are clothed correctly for the elements? This is the everyday non-glamorous nurture that we provide for them without even thinking.
Problems arrive, however, when we take care of others’ needs at the neglect of our own needs. How many times have you fed everyone breakfast and arrive at work hungry? How many times have you packed three other lunches to discover you forgot to do one for yourself? Thus you can end up being a woman running on empty, giving out of lack which can lead not only to burnout but also to resentment.
The sad truth is that if we don’t take care of ourselves no one else will. Sociologist Martha Beck in her book, Breaking Point tells how women being the last to be liberated are stuck having no one left like a wife or a mother to take care of our needs. Whether this is fair or not, it becomes clear that since we don’t have someone to take care of us, we have to nurture ourselves. This is the self-nurture I’m speaking of: taking care of yourself first so that you have something to give, to nurture others with. Why are we, who are taught to put ourselves last, considered selfish, bad mothers, demanding spouses or spoiled princesses if we put ourselves first? If we do succumb to a massage or pedicure it is because we have neglected our own needs for so long that we try to make up for it with other indulgences.
Jennifer Louden in her book, The Comfort Queen writes that “Self Nurture is not a reward for the crap you go through in life, it is the ground of your being that you create your life with – your attitude.”
What does the way you nurture or don’t nurture yourself have to say about you and your feelings toward your own worthiness? Is it that everyone else is more important than you, or that you are not worthy of good treatment? Do you have to be a good girl and take care of everyone else first, and only then can earn or deserve some good treatment for yourself? Have you noticed that most men after a long day at work are not questioned about vegetating on the couch watching TV after they get home or about going out for golf or a sporting event with the guys? Yet when Mom wants to go out with the girls the first question asked is, “Who’s going to watch the kids, do their homework, and get them ready for bed? Yes and who is going to feel the guilt about neglecting these needs? Even when a woman has a “day to herself” it is sometimes more work because she feels the need to make sure that the kids’ clothes are laid out for the clothing-challenged spouse, diaper bag is stocked, and car seat in Dad’s car before she dares venture alone outside the door.
Some of my favorite activities at Christmas time are finding stocking stuffers and filling Christmas stockings – something I definitely like better than wrapping gifts. Each year, however, I noticed a strange phenomenon occurring. Everyone else would end up having a plump stocking stuffed with all kinds of goodies that I had put in, catered to their individual liking. But not so my own stocking. It remained flat and empty. In order to solve this dilemma and the resentment which always followed, I tried to drop hints, and do the martyr co-dependent routine of bemoaning my flat stocking state - but to no avail. Fed up one year, I bought myself one of my favorite German chocolate bars and slid it in my stocking. Wow! My stocking was beginning to take a little shape. Each year I got brave enough to buy a few more treats along with equalizing the Christmas candy I put in each stocking, finally including my own and, tah dah! No more flat stocking.
What a perfect example of self-nurture. How can we give whole-heartedly without expectations of appreciation or approval returning, if we are giving out of an empty stocking, secretly hoping and praying that others will reward us for our generosity, and stuff ours in return. We need to love and respect ourselves enough to take care of our own nurture, so that we have a full stocking upon which to draw.
What are some ways that you truly nurture yourself physically, emotionally, and spiritually -how do you stuff your own stocking?
The Comfort Queen’s Guide to Life.
Our topic of the month is Self-Nurture and since we take the first part of our name from the word Nurture, I’d like to tell you NEW’s definition of it. Lately “Self Nurture” has become a “self help” buzzword for women which promises when achieved to miraculously take away all problems and bring total happiness. Self Nurture books tell us, who feel terribly taken for granted as we thanklessly take care of everyone else’s needs, to treat ourselves to a massage, mud bath, facial, cheesecake or some other reward for surviving a lousy day or week.
But is this the definition of nurture when we apply it in use with our husbands and our children? I hope we go beyond the back massages and Hostess cupcakes when we nurture them. Isn’t it that we take care of their basic needs, including cooking nutritious meals they like, cleaning up after them and making sure they are clothed correctly for the elements? This is the everyday non-glamorous nurture that we provide for them without even thinking.
Problems arrive, however, when we take care of others’ needs at the neglect of our own needs. How many times have you fed everyone breakfast and arrive at work hungry? How many times have you packed three other lunches to discover you forgot to do one for yourself? Thus you can end up being a woman running on empty, giving out of lack which can lead not only to burnout but also to resentment.
The sad truth is that if we don’t take care of ourselves no one else will. Sociologist Martha Beck in her book, Breaking Point tells how women being the last to be liberated are stuck having no one left like a wife or a mother to take care of our needs. Whether this is fair or not, it becomes clear that since we don’t have someone to take care of us, we have to nurture ourselves. This is the self-nurture I’m speaking of: taking care of yourself first so that you have something to give, to nurture others with. Why are we, who are taught to put ourselves last, considered selfish, bad mothers, demanding spouses or spoiled princesses if we put ourselves first? If we do succumb to a massage or pedicure it is because we have neglected our own needs for so long that we try to make up for it with other indulgences.
Jennifer Louden in her book, The Comfort Queen writes that “Self Nurture is not a reward for the crap you go through in life, it is the ground of your being that you create your life with – your attitude.”
What does the way you nurture or don’t nurture yourself have to say about you and your feelings toward your own worthiness? Is it that everyone else is more important than you, or that you are not worthy of good treatment? Do you have to be a good girl and take care of everyone else first, and only then can earn or deserve some good treatment for yourself? Have you noticed that most men after a long day at work are not questioned about vegetating on the couch watching TV after they get home or about going out for golf or a sporting event with the guys? Yet when Mom wants to go out with the girls the first question asked is, “Who’s going to watch the kids, do their homework, and get them ready for bed? Yes and who is going to feel the guilt about neglecting these needs? Even when a woman has a “day to herself” it is sometimes more work because she feels the need to make sure that the kids’ clothes are laid out for the clothing-challenged spouse, diaper bag is stocked, and car seat in Dad’s car before she dares venture alone outside the door.
Some of my favorite activities at Christmas time are finding stocking stuffers and filling Christmas stockings – something I definitely like better than wrapping gifts. Each year, however, I noticed a strange phenomenon occurring. Everyone else would end up having a plump stocking stuffed with all kinds of goodies that I had put in, catered to their individual liking. But not so my own stocking. It remained flat and empty. In order to solve this dilemma and the resentment which always followed, I tried to drop hints, and do the martyr co-dependent routine of bemoaning my flat stocking state - but to no avail. Fed up one year, I bought myself one of my favorite German chocolate bars and slid it in my stocking. Wow! My stocking was beginning to take a little shape. Each year I got brave enough to buy a few more treats along with equalizing the Christmas candy I put in each stocking, finally including my own and, tah dah! No more flat stocking.
What a perfect example of self-nurture. How can we give whole-heartedly without expectations of appreciation or approval returning, if we are giving out of an empty stocking, secretly hoping and praying that others will reward us for our generosity, and stuff ours in return. We need to love and respect ourselves enough to take care of our own nurture, so that we have a full stocking upon which to draw.
What are some ways that you truly nurture yourself physically, emotionally, and spiritually -how do you stuff your own stocking?
I have tried to go away by myself once a year and have been at Bed and Breakfasts in La Jolla and Temecula. Last year I went local - or in order from keeping me being local I spent two nights in Laguna Beach with a jacuzzi tub, pool, and the remote all to myself, all this plus the beautiful beach. This year with the economic situation I will limit myself to daily excursions. Anyone have any ideas?
MJ Buist
NEW Ministries
MJ Buist
NEW Ministries
Whoever is MJ?
(Oh my gosh, there’s another acronym)
MJ Buist is the founder of New Ministries and chief writer for NEWletter. MJ. is short for Merrijoy. She is married with two sons ages 16 and 11, and currently supports her writing as a substitute teacher. She is a Diaconal Minister of the United Methodist Church. Diaconal Ministers are those called to bring love, service, and justice into the world. MJ feels especially called to bring nurture and wholeness to women today.
NEWletter comes to blog
This is our NEW letter blog where we discuss topics of interest for today’s woman and tell of reading, learning, and support opportunities. It is a friendly letter of encouragement and inspiration, showing you that you are not alone, and that women coming together with ideas can help each other through the daily challenges we all face as women today.
What NEW stands for:
New Ministries is an organization by and for Women founded by MJ Buist Diaconal Minister
that helps to bring “Newness” in one’s life by:
N – Being a Network of Nurture and Nudging where we support one another by listening, caring, and sharing our own life stories.
E - Where every woman is Encouraged and Empowered on the road to Wholeness by the supportive encouragement of others, learning to draw on our own inner power through education, growth, and awareness of one’s potential.
W-Women Working towards Wholeness, piecing the scattered pieces of our lives together into balance and joy with a restored sense of purpose where we can truly make a difference in the world. Where we can share our goals and discover our destinies. Where we can learn to pursue our potential, supporting each other and holding each other accountable for achieving our dreams.
NEW is an ecumenical outreach where all are welcomed no matter what their faith or belief system.
This was published as a newsletter but I am excited about having an interactive forum. Please bear with me as I learn the world of blogging. It is definitely NEW to me.
MJ. Buist
What NEW stands for:
New Ministries is an organization by and for Women founded by MJ Buist Diaconal Minister
that helps to bring “Newness” in one’s life by:
N – Being a Network of Nurture and Nudging where we support one another by listening, caring, and sharing our own life stories.
E - Where every woman is Encouraged and Empowered on the road to Wholeness by the supportive encouragement of others, learning to draw on our own inner power through education, growth, and awareness of one’s potential.
W-Women Working towards Wholeness, piecing the scattered pieces of our lives together into balance and joy with a restored sense of purpose where we can truly make a difference in the world. Where we can share our goals and discover our destinies. Where we can learn to pursue our potential, supporting each other and holding each other accountable for achieving our dreams.
NEW is an ecumenical outreach where all are welcomed no matter what their faith or belief system.
This was published as a newsletter but I am excited about having an interactive forum. Please bear with me as I learn the world of blogging. It is definitely NEW to me.
MJ. Buist
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